5 Tips to Work Through Rejection
Work Through Mental Blocks…
That is linked to rejection.
Hey, you! Do you know that the life you are currently living is a result of what you've been thinking about over the years? Consider your consistent thought patterns - meditations. Are you meditating on things you want to come to pass? The saying is true, "what you believe is what you will see." As we adventure through life we experience triumphs, rejection, anger, joy, sickness, you name it! The challenge is protecting your heart from bitterness and resentment when things aren't on the up and up. This week, we want to encourage you to exercise your introspective muscle and reflect on some stubborn thought processes that manifest as fear and are rooted in rejection. These thoughts could be holding you back.
Here are 5 Tips to Work Through Rejection:
Rejection is a monster and is often the root cause of anxiety and depression that is fed by internal narratives of fear, pain, guilt, and low self-worth that we rehearse without thinking twice. You know, that subconscious stuff we aren't aware of until we get that breakthrough in therapy or that impactful conversation with a trusted friend?
Rejection is one of the many ways we are spiritually weighed down through the undermining of our self-worth, self-esteem, self-image, purpose, and potential. Namely, rejection from others can lead to self-rejection, inferiority, depression, suicidal thoughts, shrinking, perfectionism, workaholism, and fear, to name a few.
People who have lived under constant rejection may have a hard time setting boundaries, expressing their feelings, getting needs met, and sustaining healthy relationships. Can you relate?
Below are 5 things I want you to consider when you are working through rejection that is manifesting as anxiety, depression, or mental blocks that hinder your progress towards the life you want.
1. Some common Life Experiences Can Cause Rejection like:
A failed business endeavor
A failed relationship
Loss of a job or income
Teenage pregnancy and abandonment
Betrayal
Unwanted singleness
Health issues
Poverty or financial issues
2. Vows like, “I will never let someone hurt me again” builds ineffective walls of protection that prevent us from being vulnerable and keep us stuck.
Vows seem helpful at first, especially right after a rejection, but they lock you out of the future you are trying to manifest. You can work through this spiritual block by saying this simple prayer: “I have made a self-imposed vow or oath (name the vow or oath). I break these vows and declare them null and void. No longer will they be able to influence my life or my future. I replace these vows with (name good things you want to manifest in your life).
Examples of vows we commonly make:
“I will not feel _______.” “I will not see ____ (what my grandfather is doing to my sister, this memory, ‘problems,’ etc.) ”
“I will not remember _____ (what my father did to me, what I did to my brother, etc.)”
“I will forget _____ (what my father did to me, what I did to my brother, etc.)”
“I will never tell _____ (what happened to me, what I saw, what I did to ____, etc.)”
“I will never forgive _____ (Dad/Mom, men/women, teachers, white people, pastors, etc.)”
“I will get revenge/get them back/make them pay.” “I won’t ever trust _______ again.” (Mom/Dad, God, women/men, teachers, black people, etc.)
“I will never love _____ again.” (Dad, Mom, a man/a woman, myself, etc.)
3. Unresolved rejection can result in feeling unfulfilled, a drive to perform yet never feeling satisfied, anxiousness, and restlessness.
This is where symptoms of depression can be difficult to identify. We call this, functioning depression because those who are high performers have a hard time identifying that their sense of being unfulfilled and anxious is really rooted in unresolved rejection aka fear of being rejected. It's like being on a hamster wheel trying to get a proverbial need met that isn't measurable or the goal post keeps changing. It's exhausting!
4. Perinatal rejection and trauma may not be remembered directly, but the body and emotions can detect it.
It is helpful to know the situation your parents were in when you were conceived or birthed to help you identify if this is something you are dealing with. This is an amazing example of what “the body keeping the score” means. Even in the infantile state, we know what rejection feels like. Again, this is a spiritual experience that manifests itself in the natural through our behaviors. Perinatal trauma can occur when the mother or father has an unwanted pregnancy, have thoughts or attempted abortion, abuse during pregnancy, separation or divorce of parents pre-birth. All of these things are felt and experienced as an infant and may be important areas to explore with your therapist and work through
5. Self-protection is a COUNTERACTION to fear and A defensive measure of rejection
This manifests as false gratification (looking for comfort by overindulging with food, tv, sex, drinking, use of drugs, etc), poor boundaries, control, unwillingness to trust anyone, arrogance, criticism, and isolation to name a few.
I want you to use this newfound knowledge to spur you into a space of introspection and healing. You can do a lot of this healing work in your own time by writing down these areas you struggle with, identifying counter thoughts/truths to reprogram your thinking, and using prayer and medication to help you recenter yourself.
Know that you can always call to schedule an appointment with one of our trained therapists to help you sort through these things. It is an honor to create safe spaces for you to sort through hard things and a joy to see you move through it and flourish! With a collective of 20+ years of experience on your team, you are bound to win and move past even the most insurmountable obstacles. We’ve got you!!
