What Is Your Attachment Style and How Are you Showing Up in Love

What Are Attachment Styles

In the scope of romantic relationships, the way we form and maintain emotional bonds with our partners is influenced by our attachment styles. Attachment styles refer to the patterns of behavior and emotions we develop in response to our early experiences with our parents and close relatives, which then shape how we approach relationships as adults.

What is Your Attachment Style

&

What Causes Attachment Issues

There are four main attachment styles: secure, anxious-preoccupied, dismissive-avoidant, and fearful-avoidant. 

With the secure attachment style, people feel comfortable with intimacy and are able to trust and depend on their partners. They are not afraid of abandonment and feel confident in their ability to communicate their needs and emotions. These people tend to have the most successful and fulfilling relationships, as they are able to communicate effectively, resolve conflicts, and offer emotional support to their partners. 

People with an anxious-preoccupied attachment style crave intimacy and closeness but are constantly worried about being abandoned or rejected by their partner. They often feel insecure in their relationships and require a lot of reassurance and attention from their partner. They may also become clingy or jealous when they feel threatened. 

Those with a dismissive-avoidant attachment style tend to avoid emotional intimacy and may be dismissive of their partner's needs or emotions. They most likely feel uncomfortable with vulnerability and prefer to isolate themselves. They often have high self-esteem but struggle with empathy. They may also push their partners away or struggle to connect emotionally. 

Those with a fearful-avoidant attachment style experience a combination of anxious and avoidant behaviors in their relationships. They may want intimacy and connection with their partner, but at the same time, feel fearful of being hurt or rejected. These individuals may have experienced trauma or abuse in their past, which makes it difficult for them to trust others and feel safe in relationships. These individuals experience the most challenges in relationships, as they may oscillate between anxious and avoidant behaviors, making it difficult to understand their needs and feelings.

Not Sure What Your Attachment Style Is

Take our free attachment style quiz here!

How to Tackle Attachment Issues

If you feel that your attachment style is causing problems in your relationship, there are

steps you can take to improve your emotional regulation and build more secure attachments:

1. Become aware of your attachment style

2. Challenge negative self-beliefs

3. Practice emotional regulation

4. Communicate effectively

If you need more support in this area, it is good to connect with a mental health professional to help you sort through your thoughts and feelings. One of our therapist will love to connect with you and support you on your journey. You can learn more about our work here.